I’ve entered the packing stage. I know, I know – as soon as I get to the airport I’ll realize I’ve forgotten something, but still, I’m trying to be as organized as I can. I’ve made lists of what I have to take, I keep adding (and removing) things to them, and trying to remember every detail. Which, of course, is impossible, but I like to feel I’m doing something adequately. Besides, the pleasure of ticking items off a list is unique ;)

On a heavier note… This whole war thing is getting on my nerves already. I mean, it’s not safe to go anywhere right now, really, is it. Just as I make enough money to be able to travel, this whole thing screws everything up. I mean, I *am* still traveling, I don’t care how dangerous people keep telling me it will be (‘I wouldn’t leave the country right now’, ‘This is a bad moment to travel’), but damn, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go wherever one wants, without bombs/hijacking/anthrax paranoia? Sometimes I wish i were an ant or a plant; it must be a lot easier to escape birds or to wait for a bee to spread your spores around than to live the way we do. Human beings are so f* stupid.

But I’m traveling anyway. My life, such as it is, sucks a lot. I’m absolutely unhappy and unable to find pleasure in anything. I’m constantly ashamed and afraid of people; I don’t know what to do with them. It’s about time I started over, from scratch. Maybe it’ll work this time?